


To Share in Castle Walls

by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug



Series: Castle on a Cloud [2]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bipolar Disorder, Child Abuse, Domestic, Eating Disorders, Eskild is the Mom Friend, Evak - Freeform, Film Student Even, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insomnia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Modern Royalty, Musicals, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prince Isak, Sad Isak, Sickfic, Social Anxiety, Social Media, Student Even, Touch-Starved, YouTube, tumblr blogs in the fic, world building
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2018-12-11 15:13:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11716971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxesofflowers/pseuds/boxesofflowers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eeyoreneedsahug/pseuds/Eeyoreneedsahug
Summary: Isak is still the heir to the throne of one of the most powerful nations in the world, only now it looks like he might actually live to see his reign. It’s still overwhelming, but now his boyfriend (Even, the one that makes him smile) helps keep him afloat. The problem(s)? Isak is more of a mess than he thought. And so is his country.SEQUEL TO HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE CASTLEON HIATUS :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! We're back again for part 2 of the Modern Royalty thing. :)
> 
> (Big shoutout to the welsh names generator we used!)

“-and new reports on the continued investigation into the lives of the Valtersen Royal family continue to come to light,” the blonde reporter says and the clip of his parents being escorted out of the castle rolls. “Up next we’ll investigate how-” The TV cuts out. Even drops the remote onto the bed spread as he sits down next to Isak on the mattress. He rests a hand on Isak’s shoulder.

“Stop torturing yourself,” he says. Isak snuggles deeper into the blankets, scratching their little cat, Leia, behind the ears. She purrs gently and the sound makes him smile. She’s pretty much the only thing that keeps him sane when Even isn’t around. Even frowns like he does when he’s worried.

“I’m not,” Isak argues weakly, even though he knows he is. Watching news about his parents, reading gossip columns on his own love life - it’s all so stupid. 

Not to mention, he’s already having a pretty terrible day - he woke up late with an awful sore throat and a fever only to find out Even already left for class. When he tried to make himself tea his hands were shaking so bad he dropped the full mug on the kitchen floor where, of course, it shattered. He spent too long cleaning it up, cutting his palm on one of the shards of ceramic. Apparently, they’d run out of band aids a while ago, so he was forced to walk to the drug store, holding a paper towel over his bleeding cut, dressed in Even’s sweatpants and t-shirt - his normal sick-day outfit - only to realize when he got to the check out he forgot his wallet. So, he walked home and was too tired to do much else, so he just curled up in bed and tried to pretend he never woke up in the first place. Which was frankly pretty difficult, considering his body’s insistence on reminding him how uncomfortable he felt. 

He’d been to the doctor a few days ago with Even, and was told that “it’s probably fine” and “will probably go away in a few days,” but so far, it hasn’t. He’s had a stupid sore throat for a fucking week and he’s just about ready to call it quits. He feels like he gets sick all the time now, it’s always something. 

The worst thing is probably the fact Even can’t kiss him. Well, Even wants to, but Isak doesn’t want him getting sick too, no matter how much Even insists he doesn’t care. Isak cares. 

“How do you feel?” Even asks, wrapping a warm arm around his shoulders. Isak immediately relaxes, tucking his head against the older boy, trying to drink in the touch. He smells good, a little like lemons, mostly like coffee. 

“Ok,” he croaks, wincing at how raw his throat feels. Even kisses his cheek and Isak shivers. He forgot he was running a fever until just now - Even’s lips feel so cold, and Isak is all too aware of how hot he must feel in comparison. He hopes Even doesn’t notice. Or, if he does, he doesn’t worry too much.

“Better or no?” He asks, running his fingers gently through Isak’s hair. He rests his lips against Isak’s temple.

“Mhhmmmm...” he hums, ignoring the question.

“So?” Even prompts and kisses him again, this time on the nose. Isak laughs softly, even though it hurts. 

“Better,” he says, even though that’s an exaggeration. Besides, Even already knows Isak feels like shit. He always knows. It’s not like he really needs to ask, but he does anyway. It’s their little ritual. 

Isak’s phone goes off and Even reaches to grab it. 

“Vilde, again,” he says, checking the caller ID and passing it to Isak. 

It's only been a couple of days since he'd agreed to make a YouTube channel, and all of his vlogger friends have decided to take him (more) under their wings (or ask to collab with him). He lets it ring all the way out before shooting her a quick text. 

_sorry. Feel bad. Also nope phone calls_

He knows that his texting is a little delirious, but at this point, he doesn’t care. He’s really just making the most of this stolen time that he has with Even. And he knows it’s stolen. People keep trying to tell him it’s a well-deserved break, but he knows what is really going on. They don’t want him around the investigation. He would appreciate their kindness more if he didn’t understand their agendas. They don;t want him anywhere near a position of power. 

The investigation has really ramped up. They tell him he’s paranoid. They tell him that the only reason he isn’t anywhere near the throne room is because he’s in too deep. He knows too much about the investigation. He’s emotionally connected. He is evidence. He is the witness. He thinks they’re worried he’ll get rid of the monarchy if he is put into change (they aren’t wrong).

There is an interim ruler. Isak doesn’t want to look too much into it (but he is). He’s tracking his tag on Tumblr. He’s tracking the rumors. He knows what people are saying. He doesn’t want to believe it (he does). It might be a ploy to keep a gay leader out of office. He doesn’t want to look too far into it. 

Maybe the stolen time isn’t such a bad thing, though. He _is_ still having problems with his health (see current state). And...what happened...what had been happening...he’d rather not think about it (his therapist says that he’s in denial). He’d also rather not be away from Even (his therapist says he has attachment issues...Isak is less sure). He also can’t seem to catch his breath (and it’s not just untreated pneumonia like that one time in middle school...or after Emma broke up with him).

At least now he can relax while he’s...overwhelmed like this. Before - most of his life, really - he always had to work through everything. Anxiety attack? Didn’t matter. Fever? Just keep pushing. Pushing - that was all he ever did. Now he’s not sure what he’s doing. It feels good but it also feels uncomfortable, like he’s doing something he shouldn’t be and he could be caught any minute.

Even kisses his cheek again.

“You want tea? In your favorite mug?” He teases, and Isak sighs. His favorite mug. The one he broke this morning. It was oversized, with the lyrics of Hello Hello (the song Even likes to sing to him when he’s grumpy) written on the front. They painted it together at some pottery shop in Waeluryn that was owned by a 4 foot tall, 90-year-old woman with blue hair. It’s one of Isak’s favorite memories - a brief moment of happiness in the few weeks after running from the castle with Even. Now, the mug is in pieces in the trash. It’s stupid. He shouldn’t care so much. But still, he feels tears start to well up. Even frowns. “Hey, hey, babe.”

“M’sorry,” he mumbles, rubbing his eyes. “It broke.”

“No, I just saw it this morning. I took it out of the dishwasher,” Even says, wiping Isak’s tears from his cheeks with the side of his thumb. He looks halfway between confused and concerned.

“And then it broke,” he mutters, his breath hitching slightly. “Because today is just a shit show.”

“Christ. I know, babe,” Even says, tightening his grip on Isak’s shoulders, and Isak takes it upon himself to get closer. He buries his head in the crook of Even’s neck and tries to focus on all the things that don’t suck at the moment. He tries to take deep breaths. “We can still have tea.” Even’s skin is blessedly cool against his own, and he doesn’t want him to move.

“I know. But really, I’m feeling better. You make me feel better,” he says, and Even laughs softly. Isak can feel the older boy’s chest vibrate against his own.

“I didn’t know my kisses could cure strep,” he says, still stroking Isak’s hair with a sort of single-minded focus. Isak would never admit it but he loves when Even fusses over him like this. His voice gets all soft and sweet and he never lets him go. Isak never wants him to let go. Even presses his lips to Isak’s forehead, takes a slow, deep breath, then turns his head so his cheek rests there. His hold tightens slightly and he sighs again, his worried eyes softening when they meet Isak’s. “Guess I’m just magic, huh?” He asks, and Isak smiles.

“Stop it, you’re being corny.”

“I’ll be corny all I want.” They sit for a while in silence until Isak shudders with a wave of chills that leave him clinging even tighter to Even’s chest. “I’ll make tea. It’ll be good for you.”

“No, don’t get up. Really, it’s ok.”

“It’ll only take a minute,” he says, and he’s already getting up before Isak can protest. His absence is torture but Isak knows he can’t argue. Even should be able to do whatever he wants - he’s dealing with Isak’s shit day in and day out, he deserves some time away. Isak can’t be so...needy. He repeats the words to himself. _Stop being so needy._

It’s only a few minutes before Even’s back in their bed, two mugs of tea in his hands, Isak curled back up next to him. Even says something about Isak picking a movie a movie - something that Isak would ordinarily be thrilled to do - but he’s too busy trying to ignore all the discomfort swirling around to savor the moment at all. He chooses Cabaret (a musical he’s been meaning to show Even for a while). He’ll fall asleep, but he knows it backward and forwards by this point.

He sips his tea, wincing when it hits his swollen throat, and tries to keep his eyes open. It’s so hard, he’s so tired. Insomnia and illness are not a good pair. Still, seeing Even react to this movie is important to him (and getting his detailed movie musical trivia is important to Even). He needs to stay awake. 

After a while, he’s drifting off so frequently that Even has to take the tea out of his hands because he’s afraid it’ll spill. Isak strengthens his resolve. Tries to focus on the plot and music, the dialogue and actors. Even must be able to tell he’s struggling because he pulls the blankets up around them and shifts down on the headboard so they’re lying almost horizontal. After Isak’s eyelids flutter hazily for what seems like the 100th time, Even kisses his cheek.

“Go to sleep, baby. It’s ok,” he whispers, and Isak shakes his head, tightening his jaw.

“No, m’awake,” he mumbles, shifting in place, rubbing his tired eyes. Even frowns, feeling his forehead carefully. His hand feels a lot colder than before.

“You should sleep.”

“I really feel a lot better,” he says halfheartedly, and Even nods even though Isak’s sure he knows it’s a lie.

“I’m glad, I just know you’re sleepy,” he says, almost like Isak is a little kid. And Isak is not a little kid.

“M’not,” he grumbles, and Even sighs quietly.

“Alright.” 

Only a few moments later he’s asleep, though still somehow restless. He has an odd dream - no, a nightmare - where he’s running through the castle gardens. He can’t run fast enough from whatever’s chasing him - he can hear it gaining on him, getting closer and closer. His heart is beating so fast it’s hard to breathe, he can feel it in his throat. Every so often he’ll fall back into half-consciousness and adjust his aching body to a new, arbitrary, position against the too-warm sheets before being pulled back into sleep. A few times, he wakes up in tears, not remembering why he’s crying and feels arms wrapping around him carefully, holding him until he isn’t shaking.

That’s all he remembers before waking up alone in bed, wrapped in the comforter, shivering. He’s only lying there a few moments before Even walks in, looking surprised when he sees Isak’s eyes are open.

“Hey, baby, I was just coming to wake you up,” he says, grabbing something from the bedside table and taking a seat on the mattress, close enough so his hand rests on the side of Isak’s head, fingers tangled in his hair. Isak doesn’t move, he’s too tired. Is it possible to feel even more exhausted than you were before you fell asleep?

“Sorry I…” He isn’t sure what he should apologize for, though he knows he has to. Falling asleep? Ruining Even’s day with his stupid illness? Being an ass about the whole thing? “I’m just sorry,” he says, trying his best to keep his voice steady. It hurts his throat to speak.

“It’s cool. Don’t worry about it,” Even says dismissively, his thumb running back and forth over Isak’s cheekbone. “I can handle a grumpy prince if I have to.” Even smiles, and it makes guilt twist in Isak’s stomach. “Now open your mouth, I have to see how worried I should be.” Isak rolls his eyes but complies, letting the older boy stick the thermometer under his tongue. They wait in silence until it beeps and Even takes it out. He’s quiet, which usually means something isn’t good, so Isak clears his throat.

“Uh, I actually don’t feel so bad. Really.” When Even doesn’t respond, Isak keeps talking. “Fevers are actually good for your body, they’re healthy, so...it’s really ok. I’m really alright, Even,” he says hurriedly, wanting nothing more than to get that pinched, sad look of worry off his face. He finally meets Isak’s gaze. Before he can speak, Isak starts again. “Honestly, I feel so much better than before. Please, just don’t...don’t worry about me. Wasn’t the movie good? It was gay, right? I promised you’d like it!”

“You don’t need to lie to me, Isak,” Even finally says, ignoring Isak’s deflection. “You’re an awful liar. And I do need to worry about you, obviously.”

“But I don’t want you to!” He practically bursts out, surprising even himself. There are a few moments of silence.

“It’s not your choice, Iss. I care about you, I don’t want you feeling like shit. And I’m disappointed I can’t do more for you.” Even takes a deep breath, putting down the thermometer, and kisses Isak’s cheek. He gives him a tiny smile, and Isak tries to smile back. “Listen, you’re...so important to me. I’ll do anything for you. So never, even for one second, think that I don’t want to be right next to you. If you’re sick or you’re grumpy or whatever, I don’t care. I want to be with you. I want you to feel good. And if it makes me sad or worried that’s my problem, not yours. You haven’t done anything wrong, ok?” He finishes, and Isak nods, though he’s not entirely convinced the words are true. How can they be true? Even has so much in his life - his sisters, his mothers, his friends, college, work - how can Isak be that important, compared to all those? Sure, Isak feels that way about Even, but that’s because Even is...everything. The only thing.

Why would Even choose him? Why would Even put up with all of it? He thinks what he’s saying is true but Isak knows eventually he’ll be too much. He’ll be too much and too broken and Even won’t want him anymore. Won’t be able to handle him.

“You’ll feel better soon. I promise, ok?” Even asks, and Isak nods. “And the movie was really good. Just as wonderful as you promised. And gay.”

They eat chicken and rice in bed for dinner, and afterward they take a disappointingly cold shower together - it’s uneventful, but that’s mostly because Isak is too tired to really stand up on his own, so he has to keep himself pressed against Even’s chest. It’s a sort of hug, Isak’s arms wrapped weakly around Even’s waist, leaning heavily against him for support, letting the frigid water soak him. The cold is supposed to be good for the fever and Even seems happy with the result, so Isak half-heartedly chalks it up as a success, despite the lack of their...typical shower activities.

They play half a game of Monopoly, stopping when Isak can’t keep himself from laughing over Even’s too-serious approach. He’s trying to analyze which properties have the best cost-to-rent ratio, and which would be the most “prudent” to buy. Isak loses it when Even says, “It’s almost like this game is just completely oblivious to the realities of real estate.”

Isak is asleep a few minutes later, curled up against Even, trying not to think about all the ways things could go wrong.

 

\---

He’s having a lazy day (aka he is being forcibly kept away from any state business and also the news). He’s finally over his stupid illness, and for some reason, he isn’t sure, he didn’t immediately get sick with something else right after. Which was definitely a positive. He can finally kiss Even too, which he missed. A lot. 

When he’s kissing Even, everything just feels like it’s frozen for a moment. Nothing matters. He’s warm where Even touches him, hot where his lips land. His whole body is awake and alive and it’s so so good Isak never wants it to end. It always does though, and Isak is always disappointed. Every time, without fail. He’s not sure how he used to walk around not knowing what that felt like.

But it’s not a completely lazy day. He’s decided to film his first youtube video. He severely underestimated how difficult it would be.

“Hello everyone,” he says waving slightly awkwardly at the camera. He glances off to the side where Even is stirring something on the stove. It smells vaguely like chocolate. “Uhhhh….this is really weird…”

“You’re doing great babe,” he says absently, all his focus seemingly on whatever he’s cooking. 

“Thanks, Ev,” Isak says, shaking his head. “Uhhhh...so back by popular demand and on my own channel now...yayyy!!!” He stops and does an awkward little dance. “Ok, so...I guess I’ll just talk.” He glances over at Even again. “What do I say?” He asks almost desperately. 

“Just keep doing what you’re doing. They already love you,” Even says, smiling wide. 

“Ok. Uh...I guess I’ll just talk about...fuck. I don’t know. I need help! You can’t just abandon me!” He says, half laughing, and Even turns around from his place at the stove. He grins, and Isak’s heart jumps a little in his chest. He’ll never get used to how lovely that smile is.

“Talk about our day,” he says, and the thought brings an involuntary smile to Isak’s face. “I’ll edit it all later and post it. You just...talk.”

“We...me and Even...uh that’s my boyfriend because I’m gay. Even and I...are dating.”

“They know that, babe!” Even says, and Isak huffs, crossing his arms.

“Sometimes I like pretending that people don’t know everything about me because they’ve read it in the Sunday times or something.” He looks down at his hands.

“Then tell them that,” Even says, nodding encouragingly. Isak pauses. That’s not a bad idea. Then again, Isak isn’t so keen on sharing his feelings.

“Hey, everybody. So this might not be the most interesting video but it’s pretty important, so stick with it if you can, ‘kay?” He waits for a second like he’s seen his favorite YouTubers do. Well, he’s seen Vilde and Sana do it. “Uhhh...so I think that now that people are seeing me about more I should lay down some ground rules for meeting me?” He says. It comes out like a question and he grimaces. “I mean….It’s time I lay down some ground rules for meeting me.”

Even walks over to the couch, two large mugs in his hands, setting them down on the coffee table, making himself comfortable by the opposite end.

“Hot chocolate?” Isak asks, and Even moves toward him, rubbing his cheek with his thumb.

“Of course.” Isak has the strong, sudden urge to kiss him, but he holds back. If he starts now they won’t get anything done. He clears his throat, getting back to the video. The camera lens makes his stomach twist.

“I love meeting you guys, don’t get me wrong. I don’t want that to stop. I just want to give some suggestions that will let you guys and me have a better time.” He glances over at Even and takes a sip of his hot chocolate. “I’m not sure how much of my life story you know. I mean...I’m sure you see the stuff that’s on the news. Whether you believe me, or...don't I guess, which is a bit…” he trails off. He was going to say scary, but that seems too judgemental. “Uhhh...not judging, I guess,” he says instead, looking to Even again. Even looks up and meets his eyes. 

“You ok?” he mouths. Isak thinks for a second before nodding. 

“So you guys probably know I was...ummm...abused. By my parents. Or well...yeah. But yeah. So I have some pretty shitty anxiety stuff. So...that’s mainly why I need some rules? They’re not bad or anything,” he rushes to say. “Just...ideas.”

He stops to take a deep breath. Now to express what he actually wants to say. 

“So...something that really helps when you meet me...just pretend you don’t know everything about me. I mean...I know that you guys know a lot. I know a lot about movies, people in musicals, uhhhh...YouTubers, I don’t know. But it really helps if, when you approach me just to be like...uhhhh...Even help?” He says motioning to Even.

“Yeah of course,” Even says, sliding into the frame. 

“Ok you go,” Isak says and Even rolls his eyes slightly. 

“Hi, Isak. My name is Even. How’s your day going?”

“It’s going pretty well, I think?” Isak says. Even grins.

“What’s your favorite album?” He raises his eyebrows.

“Ummm…” Isak stops to think and smiles slightly. “The cast album of-” Even scoffs, cutting him off, shoving his shoulder lightly. 

“No. Illmatic? By Nas? What the hell Isak?” He says. “Or at least something good like Sargent Pepper or something.”

“Dear Evan Hansen?” Isak asks. “Hamilton? Newsies? Wicked? Rent?”

“Fine. Gahhh…” Even smirks, shaking his head.

“It’s probably Illmatic…” Isak admits with a smile. “I’m just fucking around.”

“I know, baby.”

“I still love those, though.”

“I know. I love them too. And I love you.”

“One of those was a lie. You hate musicals. You only watch them with me,” Isak says, and Even shrugs. Isak almost forgot they were filming. Almost.

“They...might have grown on me...a bit. I think it’s the dishwashing with them on.”

“I still think you’re full of shit.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Can’t stand em,” Even says leaning over to kiss Isak on the cheek. Isak kisses him back, this time on the lips.

Later when Isak hears Even belting out ‘Waving Through a Window’ with the dish water running in the background, he feels warm. 

\---

“I’ve been eating!” Isak argues. Eskild raises an eyebrow, spearing a piece of pancake with his fork. 

“Yeah?” He starts. “Do you want me to check with Even on that one?”

Isak hesitates for a second. He has been eating...but Even always worries and if Eskild calls he’ll be inclined to think something is wrong (more so than usual at least). 

“If you want. If I say no, I know you will anyway, so.” Isak shrugs. Eskild laughs.

“You’re really catching on, huh?”

“You’re just too predictable.”

“I did talk to Even, for the record. I just wanted to see what you’d say.”

They’ve met for brunch in a small cafe close to the ‘EVAK APARTMENT’ (“I don’t see why this needs all caps, ‘skild” “It just does, ok, Isak.”). Isak has evolved in his disguises. No longer does he confine himself to a simple hoodie, snapback, and glasses combo. He now has a variety of beanies, scarves, (and yes, snapbacks, hoodies, and glasses), designed (who is he kidding--thrift stored) specially for maximum fan distraction. Isak is confident they won’t be spotted, interrupted, or judged (too harshly. He is wearing a Winnie the Pooh sweat-shirt that he couldn’t let go of in the thrift store, but got teased mercilessly by all of his friends for). 

“Heard you got sick,” Eskild says, a too-casual look on his face that Isak knows is trying to mask Eskild’s not-at-all-casual concern.

“Yeah. Not too bad. Not even a big deal, really. Just a cold.”

“I did say I talked to Even, right? I remember saying that but you’re still acting like I don’t know what’s up.”

“He worries too much.”

“You just need to...relax,” he says, drawing out the word. “Like this.” He sighs, letting his shoulders slump. He smiles, raising his eyebrows. “See? Easy.”

Isak resists the urge to roll his eyes. If he’d been able to follow that advice and relax, he wouldn’t be struggling to find (any) medication that worked to calm him down. He wouldn’t have spent years panicking alone in various parts of the castle. 

His insomnia’s been awful lately. Probably because of all the shit going on with the investigation and Even and everyone else. He hasn’t seen Eva in forever – all he gets is the occasional Instagram update. Sana has basically disappeared, and he hasn’t spoken to anyone who worked at the castle (other than Eskild) since he left. Other than the one dinner they all shared a few months back, he hasn’t seen any of his Youtube friends. He hasn’t spoken to any of them since he didn’t immediately agree to collab with them a few weeks back. Friends...are they? He thought they were. He knows they’re probably doing what they think is best for him, letting him have time to heal or something, but it’s making him feel very...isolated. Even when he was at his most alone in the castle, he still had a few people wanting his attention or making an effort. Now he’s back down to Eskild and Even. He’s...been better. 

Some nights he’ll wake up and - very rarely - Even will stay sleeping. He both hates and loves those nights. He’s all alone, staring at the ceiling, waiting to pass out from exhaustion, wishing Even was awake to hold him. But at the same time, glad to finally not be the burden he knows he always is.

For a few weeks he got into the habit of sleeping on the bathroom floor - that way, if he was tossing and turning or waking up or having nightmares Even would still be able to sleep. It all stopped when Even woke up one night and had half a heart attack when the bed was empty.

_”I thought you’d…”_

_“I’m ok.”_

_“I thought someone had taken you or something.”_

_“I’m just feeling a little warm.”_

_“Come back to bed, babe. I’ll take off the extra blanket.”_

So that ended. 

It’s so aggravating to need people so much. Especially when you love them. Worse when they love you too. It all gets so confusing and sad and Isak wishes things could just be normal for once. But they’re not. And it’s his fault.

\---

_Today it’s been revealed that the Baewythian administration will not act in response to the building tensions between Thoara and Iralia. Iralia has been a long time ally of Baewyth, but Acting Administrator Elinor Wathen states that in this time of transition, “it is important to keep our own nation intact.”_

_There have been protests calling for the institution of Prince Isak as acting monarch as opposed to Gwent Coslett, who was nominated by the MNSC (the Multi National Security Confederation) of which Baewyth and Iralia are both members. Others argue that the prince lacks the experience and insight to control a country as large as Baewyth._

_Currently, the former King and Queen are under investigation for fraud, unwarranted arrest, abuse, and treason. Though some argue this last claim is unfounded, the law clearly states that harming any member of the royal family in an attempt to impede their health, safety, or well being is an act of treason. With their accusations of abuse against the prince, treason is a charge that will be decided based on the outcome of the abuse allegations. At this time, there is said to be insufficient evidence, but many predict the two monarchs will be indeed charged with these crimes. However, it is much too early to make any definitive statement._

_Little has been heard from the prince since his public interviews almost three months ago. Sources say he is still living with alleged lover Even Bech Næsheim. Rumors continue to circulate about his health after he was photographed leaving a medical facility early last week._

_As always, we will keep you updated on the latest news concerning the Royals._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [To Share in Castle Walls Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [To Share in Castle Walls Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/4p69XkEkfEVMStRO0m1N7v)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)  
> (Just talk to us on or off anon on any of our blogs. We love you all. Also feel free to stalk my Spotify bc there are lots of other fic (and non fic) playlists that live there)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so we're back. We aren't abandoning this fic (even tho it has been a while since we updated). We're both first-years in college (Uni) so we were putting writing on the back burner as we were getting used to our programs. If you have any questions about our lives or about the fic feel free to message us on tumblr (links at the end of the chapter).

“If you would proceed right this way, Sir,” the attendant who was tasked with guiding him through the castle says. Isak would be amused if it didn’t feel so strange. Someone thinks he won’t know where the formal parlor off of the North Wing’s library is. As if. He could navigate this place blindfolded if he had to.

He lived so much of his life confined to these walls and now they seem so foreign. Some part of him missed it here, and now that he’s realized it’ll never be the same he can’t shake the feeling of discomfort.

Of course he’s been there since _that_ night. After he finally managed to leave (he almost wasn’t able to. The thought has woken him up more than a few times), he’d come back two more times, both under the watch of social service agents (which was both awkward and gratifying). The first time, he’d just been lead to different rooms and told to pick up some of his belongings for his new residence (the one they didn’t know he’d be sharing with Even). The second time was on more official business where his team of lawyers, social workers, and friendly representatives sat him down to sign temporary leave of absence papers so they could begin the investigation on his parents. Both of those visits combined took less than 3 hours and were, compared to many of his memories of the castle, quite pleasant. 

This, he can already tell, won’t be pleasant. 

“You lack all of the fundamental skills to run a country,” Acting Administrator Elinor Wathen states as soon as they’re all seated at the long wood table. Isak is painfully aware of the fact he’s unprepared to be King, but it still stings. He might have been taught the lessons in finance and propriety in court that others his age wouldn’t have received, but beyond that, it’s simple - he’s weak. Wathen is right. He isn’t ready. 

“Don’t think of this as a...demotion. Think of it as a new opportunity.” It’s obvious that they're expecting him to put up some sort of fight. He’s surprised by the guilt. Does he just not care enough to rule? He doesn’t want to. Should he want to? 

“Yeah. Sure. Of course,” he says after the silence has dragged on a bit too long. 

“Gwent Coslett is a fine choice for leader. MNSC has made a fair choice for once,” Wathen continues as if unaware of the suffocating tension that’s making Isak nauseous. 

“Wait…” He interjects. “Coslett’s already been elected?” He thought he was going to be their proposed candidate. He was planning on turning it down when they asked - he was sure they would ask. There’s a pause and Wathen’s expression shifts. 

“...No. Not yet.” She clears her throat. “It’s only a matter of time after all.”

“Yes. Well, the more pressing concern we’re here to update you on is your parents standing in the court proceedings,” one of the lawyers says, and Isak shifts his attention.

“Ok…” he says when it’s clear the older man is waiting for him to answer. The last Isak heard, they were still under arrest and being charged.

“We think that while you have a fairly solid case, you aren’t going to get the results that you’re looking for,” the man says delicately, crossing his hands on the table. Isak can feel his face starting to contort even though he’s trying to stay neutral.

“Wh-” he starts, but the lawyer next to him cuts him off. She puts a hand on his arm and it takes a lot of self-control not to shake her off.

“Isak...honey,” she starts. “You can’t really expect much. They’re...well they’re the king and queen.” He keeps trying to contain the anger boiling in his stomach. He pushes out a breath through his nose.

“And I’m the Prince. Is that not important?” When no one responds he raises his eyebrows. “And beyond that...I...I’m...” he takes a breath. “I’m a person who...” he trails off again. “A crime was committed. Their status shouldn’t -” He’s cut off by another lawyer.

“Of course, of course. No one is saying what happened to you wasn’t wrong. We just need to be realistic,” he says, and Isak nods, if only because he wants the conversation to stop.

“What could I…” he bites his lip. “What could I do to strengthen the case?”

“You? Nothing really,” Yet another lawyer sitting on the opposite side of the table says. When Isak starts to open his mouth to speak, the man rushes ahead. “That isn’t to say you haven’t done a great deal already. Without your boyfriend’s photos and your quick thinking with the video of the assault at the ball, we would be working with very little. But even with that evidence...it will be very hard to get them more than a slap on the wrist legally.”

“Think of it as time out,” the female lawyer speaks up. “They’re being reprimanded for their actions right now. Where this battle will truly be fought is in the eyes of the public. They’ve tarnished their reputation.”

“Yes. Precisely. As Lara was saying, the people have the information now and they’re not happy about it as I’m sure you’ve seen,” the male lawyer says. 

“Yes but some of them think it was all a fraud. Some of them--” The female lawyer, Lara, holds up her hand. 

“Just a few. A minority,” she reassures. He looks over at Elinor Wathen. The Acting Administrator. Her face is as neutral as it’s been throughout the entire discussion. He wonders what she thinks. Whose side she’s really on. He would ask but somehow he knows that it’ll only lead to another tense silence and he’s not sure he can handle that.

“I wish you the best of luck in your new life, Isak,” Wathen says tightly. “We’ll handle it from here.”

He leaves. There’s a rush of relief when he gets outside. Remembers he doesn’t have to go back upstairs to his old bedroom.

He takes a deep breath and checks his phone. He has a reminder. 

_Lunch with Even_

He can do this. He’ll be fine. No one needs to worry. He’s fine.

\---

\--> HOLY FUCK WHY WONT THEY LEAVE HIM ALONE  
\---> idk my friend...idk - ebn  
\---->that feel when u post a relatable content (™) about the Isak and EVEN FUCKING BECH NÆSHEIM REPLIES  
\-----> :) - ebn

 

→ “...before I lead with the worst of me…”  
\--->this song is still stuck in my head. In other news don’t hate me my youtube video will be out soon ok - adrisak  
\---->THE PRINCE OF BAEWYTH LIKES DEH   
\-----> duh or should i say...deh   
\------->we’d never hate uuuuuu

→ what do you guys think his health issue is? Could it be HIV?  
\---> there are so many things wrong with that question i don’t even have time to explain :/  
\----> i’ll explain, lol. 1: doesnt matter what his health issue is. Not our business. 2: he might not even have a “health issue” it’s all just rumors and pap pics 3: assuming he has HIV just because he’s gay is really…:/ 4: gossiping about HIV online is skeevy af and you should be ashamed

 

→ holy fuck guys did you see my son in his video  
\--->’my son’ jokes are in poor taste i think?  
\----> no. i’ve adopted him. It’s official.  
\-----> @adrisak what say you  
\-------> im not the joke police - adrisak

 

→ HE’S SUCH A BEAN  
\---> thank you? -adrisak

 

→ i don’t get it? Why do i have to do this pc shit if i just want a picture  
\--->bc some people are nice people who understand anxiety?  
\----> hopping on this discourse. Do this. Respect his wishes even if you think it’s not what you want to do. Just because I think that stabbing you would be fun, you haven’t consented to that so i won’t  
\-----> if any of you fuck with him...i will find you and i will kill you -ebn  
\------> no no killing -adrisak

 

\-->@adrisak you’re such a whiny bitch.   
\--->fuck off -ebn  
\----> what he can’t fight his own battles? No wonder he ran.  
\-----> oh so now you don’t want to respond?   
\------> reported and blocked! -ebn

 

\-->Panic? Yeah right. He’s so stuck up.  
\---> Yeah he should be grateful we like him. Not telling us how to  
\----> he owes us. 

 

→ @adrisak here’s a cute picture of a cat that reminded me of you  
\---> awwwweeee thank you!!!! :) <3

 

\---

Even already has a drink when Isak gets to the restaurant. It looks like orange soda. There’s a drink for him too at his seat - a cappuccino. He stands there watching him for a moment, watching how he moves and breathes, before Even looks up and sees him. He smiles.

“Hey, you. I love you!” he says as soon as Isak sits down. They’re at a small round table right next to a flower box. Isak’s nose scrunches as he fights the smile growing on his face. “I ordered you some sort of coffee thing. Because you dealt with bureaucracy,” he finishes. Isak can’t help it anymore and he leans over the table, giving him a kiss.

“I love you too,” he easily replies once he’s settled back in his seat. He can taste a hint of orange soda, sticky sweet. His heart feels warm and full like it’s trying to float away by itself. Like when he snuck out of the castle for the first time. Like the smell of WaterFire. Like every bit of sunshine that he’s seen. Even makes him feel like that. Like everything’s ok.

“How’d it go?” he asks slowly, reaching out a hand on the table, offering it to Isak. He takes it, ignoring the stiffness and twinge of pain when he moves his wrist the wrong way.

“It was fine,” he says, picking up his coffee cup. Even tilts his head, stirring his straw in the soda. 

“Yeah?” he asks, and Isak nods quickly, taking a sip of his coffee. A few moments pass, and Even clearly seems to want some elaboration, so Isak puts down his drink.

“Could have gone better but it wasn’t anything I wasn’t expecting, you know?” he says.

“Like what?” Even asks, his eyebrows inching together. Isak knows that look. It’s Even’s “I’m concerned but don’t want you to know I’m concerned” look. 

“Uh...like how I'm not ready to rule. Some shit about my parents. Stuff like that. I’d rather not dwell on it,” he says. 

“No, yeah, no problem. Whenever you want to, I’m here,” Even says smiling softly and giving his hand a little squeeze. He looks down at his menu.

“You know what you’re gonna have?” Isak asks, and Even shrugs, his thumb running absentmindedly over the younger boy’s knuckles.

“I know what you’re gonna have,” he says, smirking, and Isak laughs.

“I haven’t even seen the menu.”

Even’s smile widens.

“Yeah but I think I know you pretty well. Like...I think I know what you’d pick.” 

Isak raises his eyebrows, laughing again, and reaches for the menu. Even moves it out of reach.

“Stop it! Let me see!” He says through laughs, and Even leans forward and kisses him. When he pulls back, Isak’s breathless. Even tucks a little bit of hair behind his ear.

“Don’t you trust me?” He asks, still smiling, and Isak nods, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

He feels...better. It’s like a weight’s been lifted off his back, as cliche as that sounds. He isn’t pretending. He _is_ fine. Everything worked out. If he’s with Even, things will always work out.

\---

He isn’t fine. The crowd around Even’s car seems to triple as they walk over. Even’s hand has left his. It feels like there are a million voices calling out to him, demanding his attention.

“ISAK!”

“Look over here!” 

“Picture!”

“Selfie!” 

“This way Isak!” 

“I love you! Your parents are shit!”

“I support you Isak!”

“Isak for King!”

“Will you follow me?”

“Isak!” That isn’t a fan. That’s Even. “Isak. You have to breathe. You can do this.”

He can’t do this.

“Everyone back up! Guys. Seriously.” Isak can hear Even’s voice telling the crowd but it sounds like it’s being filtered through something. Like he’s underwater. “C’mon.” Even takes his elbow, guiding him into the passenger seat, closing the door. The voices are still there. Someone’s pounding on the back window.

Time passes in a blur. He knows he’s panicking. He’s done it so many times at this point that it seems absurd to think that for a split second he didn’t know what was going on. For a split second, he thought he was fine. 

Even is in the driver’s seat, trying to pull away from the curb. Then they’re driving back to the apartment. Then Isak’s on the couch, staring at his hands.

He’s not fine. He can’t do this.

\---

“It’s been awhile…” Eva finally says after all of the initial catching up and pleasantries.

“Yeah...well. I was busy,” Isak says, shifting in his seat. They’re at some cafe Isak’s never been to before - it’s more downtown than he usually goes.

“Too busy for a call?” Eva asks. Isak opens his mouth to protest, but she plows right on ahead. “I don’t...know what to think about this entire situation.” She shakes her head.

“What do you mean?” Isak asks, confused. “It isn’t great, but I don’t have to live with my parents anymore, so...Things are looking up.” Eva sighs. 

“I don’t mean that. I mean...you aren’t going to like this,” she says.

“I haven’t even heard it yet.”

“Can you just promise you...just promise you won’t freak out?” She asks more softly. He nods slowly.

“I-don’t-like-the-Even-thing,” she says all at once. Isak’s sure he must’ve heard her wrong.

“Don’t like the...Even thing?” He asks in disbelief. “Why...don’t you like him?”

“No! No. I mean...I like Even. It’s just...” With each passing moment, he feels his heart sink lower and lower. “You’re worrying me.”

“How?” He’s safer than he’s ever been with Even. What does she have to worry about?

“It’s...You spend all of your time with him. You live with him. You don’t see anyone else. I’m just...if I did this you’d think something was wrong, wouldn’t you?” She asks. He looks down at his hands. He thinks he knows where she’s going with this and it makes him uncomfortable in all sorts of ways he doesn’t like to think about. 

“Yeah,” He says reluctantly.

“And what would it seem like was happening?” Eva asks, a serious expression on her face.

“I would think...that you were in an unhealthy or abusive relationship,” he says softly. She raises her eyebrows.

“Are you?” She asks. Isak’s stomach drops. Even though he knew that this is where the conversation was leading he didn’t want to hear those words. “Isak.”

“No!” Isak says. “Even would never…” he bites back tears, though he’s not sure why he wants to cry. Eva looks unconvinced. 

“Ok. Just...you know that just because he was nice to you and helped you get out of that situation...you aren’t obligated to stay with him. You don’t have to make it up to him or anything.” The more that Eva pushes the topic the more uncomfortable he’s getting.

“Eva...I know that I haven’t been the best at taking care of myself in the past, but I promise you….100%. Even wouldn’t ever....” Isak can see her relax slightly. She smiles but it isn’t her usual. It looks tighter somehow. 

“Ok. Good. I’d have had to kick his ass. I wanna make sure you’re good for each other. It’s not like I hate Even,” she adds as an afterthought. “I like him.”

“So do I,” Isak says with a slight smile on his face. 

\---

“...and this is Mikael. You already know them.”

“Them?” Isak asks. 

“Nonbinary,” Mikael says carefully like he’s not sure if Isak will understand. 

“Alright, cool,” he says. “Just double checking pronouns.” Mikael smiles before turning and jumping right back into the conversation he’d been having with Mutta. 

They’re in Elias’ apartment. Elias is Sana’s brother. Elias and Even are friends. Friends from before Isak.

Even had put his life on hold for Isak. He seems somehow unconcerned by this. Isak can’t help but feel that maybe Eva was right. Maybe they aren’t good for each other. Except it’s not Even who’s the problem.

Was Even even happy with him? Did he just feel...obligated? He looks so joyful sitting there surrounded by his Wayluryn friends. All of them so bright and funny and confident and pulled together and everything that Isak isn’t--

“Babe?” Even’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts. 

“Hmmm?” He hums in reply. He takes a small sip of his bottled water, glancing around the room. The other boys have left. He can hear them in the kitchen. 

“If you’re not having a good time, we can head home,” Even says and Isak’s stomach twists. He wants to leave but more than that he wants Even to be happy and if that means staying he’ll stay. Even if his hands are sweaty and shaking and gripping each other too hard. 

“No...it’s cool. I’m good. I just don’t want to...overstep,” he says. It seems like a safe, normal concern. Something that some would be worried about in a new situation. Safe and normal.

Even still looks concerned.

“Ok. If you’re sure.”

“Never surer. I’ll tell you if anything changes,” Isak compromises. It works. Even pecks him on the cheek before moving for a short closed-mouth kiss on his lips. 

“They love you. I love you. Don’t worry.”

Isak can’t help it. 

\---

Isak’s heart almost stops when he feels the bed is empty next to him. He sits upright, looking around the dark bedroom. The digital alarm clock on the bedside table flashes 23:58. His heart is back to beating but it’s almost double time, hammering against his ribs. Even is _never_ not next to him. Especially considering they’d gone to sleep at the same time - where could he be? The sheets are cold.

He’s about to call Even’s name when he hears soft conversation coming from the hallway.

“-calling so late?...No, I haven’t...No, Mama, you didn’t wake him up...Mmhmm...He could be better....No, it’s alright.”

He pads over to the door and stands next to it, wrapping his arms around himself. He knows he shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but he just needs to be able to hear Even. He doesn’t want to know he’s all alone. It probably won’t be harmful to just barely make out Even’s voice, right? More than barely, but that’s just because he needs to hear that it’s Even for sure. 

“It’s the summer...yeah...I’ve been...no. Not as much as I should have. I know I had to make up the difference...I’ll pick up another job once school starts. I can also maybe get some money from some of my short films? That’s bullshit, sorry. I don’t know...”

Isak rocks slightly and pulls his sweater tighter around him. Even...has been neglecting his own life to help him? Even...needs money? Isak can do that. He can handle that for Even. He shifts his weight from foot to foot. The hardwood is cold against his bare skin.

College is mostly free for almost everyone in Baewyth, but you have to be a child of a married couple or a single parent. Partnerships, like the one Even’s mothers have, aren’t supported by the legislation that Isak’s parents wrote to guarantee an upper-level education. Isak knows that this is a problem but he’d never...realized...Even? 

“No, really Mama. I’ll make it work. Don’t send me anything, really...Yeah, I’m sure...Ok, you can send that. You can send that. He’ll like that...No, he’s asleep. You can talk tomorrow if you really want...Mmmhmm...Alright, Mama. Love you. Night.”

Isak still stands there by the door, hugging himself tight. The door swings open, and Even seems startled when he sees Isak’s awake.

“Hey baby,” Even says seeing him standing by the door. “Are you…” he trails off. Isak is shivering in his too-big sweater.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out. Even tilts his head and slowly wraps him in a hug, pulling him close so his chin rests on Isak’s shoulder.

“What happened?” He asks softly, running his hand carefully over the younger boy’s back. 

“I’m sorry. I woke up and was scared-” he starts to explain, tripping over his own words. Even cuts him off.

“Iss...you don’t have to-”

“And I needed to hear your voice. I’m sorry I heard some of your conversation. I...I…” Isak finishes. Even sighs, looking anxious.

“What did you hear?” He asks softly. Isak takes a shaky breath. Maybe…

“I’m sorry. I heard that your moms were sending me something? I ruined it. I’m sorry I listened in,” he says quickly before he can change his mind. Even visibly relaxes. 

“But it will still be a surprise! I’m not...mad or anything. Don’t worry babe. Everything is fine. Everything will be ok.”

“Ok…” Isak says. “I just...you’re sure you’re not mad?” He asks.

“Yeah. Let’s go back to sleep. Everything is fine,” Even says. Isak knows he’s trying to be reassuring, but now it just feels hollow, like Even knows something isn’t right and is trying to convince himself of that fact. Isak will find a way to fix this. He has to. 

\---

“Hey, I have sort of a weird idea,” Even says, hooking his chin over Isak’s shoulder, kissing the back of his neck. Isak feels himself blush, turning his head slightly. 

“For the last time, I’m not calling you Daddy. I’m just not,” he says, half joking, and Even laughs.

“No, not a sexy weird idea. Just a...normal one,” he says, pressing another kiss to the nape of Isak’s neck. “Let’s go to water fire.”

A half hour later, they’re walking hand in hand by the river. They’re each wearing one earbud, every so often their shoulders will bump and one of the will swing slightly out to the side. It’s like a dance that only they know the choreography for. 

Even buys a cotton candy which Isak makes fun of him for (and then steals more than half of). They sit on a bench for a while, just watching the little row boats move from flame to flame, Isak resting his head on Even’s shoulder.

“How did we get here? How did...we survive this?” Isak asks softly, watching the flickering shadows on the sidewalk.

“Because you’re awesome. And I love you. And you love me,” he whispers, and Isak kisses his neck, nuzzling him softly with his nose. 

“Who said that?” He jokes, and Even laughs, kissing him back. He takes a moment to run his fingers through the younger boy’s hair.

“You know you love me.”

“I do,” Isak whispers, this time kissing Even’s lips. They’re almost too sweet. “Daddy,” he finishes, raising his eyebrows, and Even bursts out laughing. The quiet, serious moment is broken, and Isak almost wishes it wasn’t.

“See, now I know you love me,” Even says, and Isak rolls his eyes, adjusting his glasses. He’s pretty sure anyone would be able to recognize him anyway, but he likes the little bit of anonymity the makeshift disguise gives him.

“Well, you better have a good memory because that’s never happening again,” Isak smirks. With Even’s arm wrapped around him, staring out over the river, he isn’t sure what to think. This moment, right now, is good. But what happens next? These moments aren’t forever - he’s lucky they even happen at all. His smile fades and Even kisses his temple.

“What are you thinking about?” He asks softly. Isak swallows hard. Forces a smile.

“Nothing.”

\---

**BREAKING NEWS**

_Tensions between Thoara and Iralia continue to mount. Years of dialogue facilitated by the Baewythian administration ended earlier this year with the shocking arrest of the King and Queen* (Acting Administrator Elinor Wathen states that in this time of transition, “it is important to keep our own nation intact.”). It is currently unclear as to the full extent of the complicated issues which include a slow encroachment on Iralia by way of the Thoara/Iralia shared border._

_Discussions are expected to resume on the 1st._

_The decision not to act in response to the building tensions is not believed to have pushed these countries closer to conflict._

_As always, we will keep you updated on the latest news concerning the Royals._

*Edit: This article originally stated that the royal family had been arrested. The Prince, Isak was not arrested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [To Share in Castle Walls Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [To Share in Castle Walls Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/4p69XkEkfEVMStRO0m1N7v)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)  
> (Just talk to us on or off anon on any of our blogs. We love you all. Also feel free to stalk my Spotify bc there are lots of other fic (and non fic) playlists that live there)


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